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Friday Funnies
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Friday Funnies There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, I tried with my right hand … nothing. So, I tried with my left hand … nothing. Next, my wife tried with her right hand … nothing. Then she tried with her left hand...nothing. She tried with her mouth … nothing. My wife even asked her girlfriend to come over and try. Same thing; right hand, left hand, mouth .... still nothing. She even tried squeezing it between her legs while she worked the top. Still nothing! Then, they both tried together, one grabbing on the bottom and going one way, while the other went the other way on the top. And ... nothing!! Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the damn lid off of the specimen cup!!!! One morning a blonde woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of the steps, rummaging through her garden. "I know what you are, you're a goblin!" she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a moment "I want a huge mansion to live in." The goblin replies "OK, you've got it. What's next?" Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too," is his reply. "My last wish is a million dollars!", she says. "OK, you've got it.” is the reply. The goblin then says “But to make all your wishes come true you have to have sex with me, all night long." "All right, then, if that's what it takes..." Next morning the little one wakes the exhausted woman up. "Tell me," he says, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies. "Amazing!!!", says the short man, "27, and you still believe in goblins!" The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life 1. The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes." 2. The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide." 3. The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?" 4. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?" 5. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!" 6. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!" 7. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, and always eats what he shoots!" A group of politicians were inspecting one of the top hospitals, and on one of the floors during the tour they passed a room where a male patient was masturbating. "Oh my god!", said one politician, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???" The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry, but this man has a very serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that at least five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly." "Oh, that's terrible. I am so sorry to hear that" said the politician. The next room they inspected, they found a young nurse giving a patient a blow job. "Oh my God", said the group, "What's happening in there?" The Doctor replied, "Same problem as the other patient, but, better health plan." One Friday morning, an older accountant leaves a letter for his wife explaining why he won't be home for dinner that evening. It reads... Dear Wife, I am 57; by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 19 year old new secretary." When he arrives at the hotel that evening, there is a letter waiting for him that reads as follows... Dear Husband, I, too, am 57 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with our handsome and virile 19 year old pool boy. AND you, .... being an accountant, ...will appreciate that 19 goes into 57 many more times than 57 goes into 19." |
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2 cowboys are talking about sex positions. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !" "I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?" "Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Next, you reach round and cup both of her boobs, while you whisper "these feel just like your sisters" , then you try to hold on for 8 seconds !"
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Missing... hahahahhaha Cute! Nice to see you, kk The observant make the best lovers, I may not do right, but I do write, I have bliss, joy, and happiness in my life, Kitkat Come check out my blog KItkat1415 check out this post by me Adventures In Body Grooming #39 April Topic Link: What Lies Beneath If April Showers Oh Bloody Hell What Kind Of Weather Turns Me On Bloggers Symposium 40
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All so "funny" P! The first - didn't expect that! "Not getting the lid off"!  ..... And always 'hold onto all those sexy thoughts'! (Remember if you feel like taking part in some sexy fun then click here!) Come on Some Sketch Fun And Now How About 39Me39 Watching 39You39 If you39d like that Please Comment - So if you would like - click here as well!
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