Participants List For The Fifteenth Virtual Symposium: Black And White
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Posted:Dec 27, 2015 1:49 am
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2016 5:25 pm
132233 Views
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Welcome to the fifteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic ("Black and White") and agreed, on or about December 27, to post their interpretations of that topic.
First, a public service announcement: Some folks find the default font size for long blog contributions small. Personally, I find the much larger sizes offputting and hard to read… but I could see size 2 being a compromise. (This post has been posted in size 2, for what it’s worth…) Of course, there’s always the trick of holding down the control button and hitting either the + or – keys, which for most websites serves to enlarge or shrink copy and images. But I promised that I’d pass along the request, and have now done so. Whether or not folks decide to use the larger sizes is purely a matter of personal taste, and has no bearing on symposium eligibility.
As for the symposium itself: there are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once the blogosphere voted on a topic, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
joisygirl: Done and Dusted [post 3750853]
khuXBFXM8u: The Down and Dirty The 15th Virtual Symposium Black and White Let That Be Your Last Battlefield
yesmamallthetime: Mellifluous Musings [post 3750812]
Fel7114: Fearless Forties [post 3750805]
humorlife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man Fifteenth Virtual Symposium On Black and White The Fetishization Of Black Men Among Swingers
kzoopair: Take two- they're small The World in Black and White
aflower2c: My thoughts... [post 3750767]
BiggLala: Lalaverse [post 3750743]
KtMnDu: Ramblings.............. [post 3750710]
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... Black And White 15th Virtual Symposium
LadyLeo1949: MY SAFE HARBOR [post 3750728]
2trythis: Personal Preferences 15th Virtual Symposium Black and White
SlenderGal88: To Be Consumed [post 3750506]
sweetflower67: Une fleur parmi les fleurs Ma participation au 15me symposium Black and white
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! Black and White 15th Virtual Symposium
Annie_34: ♥ Annie est dingue ♥ [post 3750008]
Darling_Annette: Darling Dayz [post 3749733]
author51: My Best ASSets [post 3750883]
Snookeroo1000: this and that... [post 3750882]
keithcancook: The Venting Blog BLOGLAND JEOPARDY 15th Virtual Symposium black amp white
missthee: me, myself, and missthee Virtual Symposium The Owls Are Not What They Seem
whome1963: Thoughts from a Shiny Skull [post 3750955]
traveljunkie13: Sassy Bitch The 15th Virtual Symposium Black and White
1SexyGoodguy: Just One Sexy Guy's Blog [post 3751096]
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES NO BLACK BITS, SOME WHITE BITS AND MANY YELLOW BITS
lucius8858: My Blog Black and White
sweet_VM: In your Dreams Visual Symposium Black and White Photos
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... Black amp Whites with people inbetween
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks Black and White Take Two December Bloggers Symposium
ghost90025: Fantasy to Reality? [post 3751368]
HermanG67: untangling my mind [post 3751172]
yellowflower56: Follow your Bliss [post 3751552]
rednkgrll57: Rednkgrll57 My Blog. [post 3751543]
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks Black And White1 December Theme For Bloggers Symposium
ChocolateNinja1: ☁☁Cloudy With a Chance Of..... [post 3751931]
mcmaniac: Rantings of a Social Butterfly [post 3750680]
lyre_lyre: Fucking My Way to Clarity [post 3779125]
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Fifteenth Virtual Symposium On “Black and White”: The Fetishization Of Black Men Among Swingers
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Posted:Dec 27, 2015 12:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 9, 2020 1:23 pm
120436 Views
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This blog entry is part of the fifteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (“Black and White”) and agreed, on or about December 27, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants List For The Fifteenth Virtual Symposium Black And White
Note: With this post I’m going to walk into a minefield. I invite you all to tiptoe with me, but I ask that we all step cautiously – and respectfully – when commenting.
Longtime readers know this blog focuses on topics of concern or amusement to those interested in the swinging community. Within that community are several subgroups: People who play with cuckolding, for instance, or people who indulge in S&M as part of their swinging activities, and people who refuse to believe S&M and swingers should cross pollenate, among others.
One of those subgroups consists of non-African Americans who lionize black men. In relating this month’s symposium topic “black and white” to swinging, I offer observations and considerations, few of which are absolute. This is, in the purest sense, a symposium entry meant to facilitate the exchange of ideas.
For many, swinging sex truly is colorblind: Some play settings provide opportunities for people to meet each other and get to know each other as people, whether at clubs or parties that have conversation areas or meet ‘n’ greet times, or simply whenever swingers agree to meet and determine whether there is sexual chemistry. Bully for that.
Some see beauty in the soft tangle of black and white skin. Does this objectify the two partners? To my mind, for those who feel it adds to sexual pleasure, no more than a corset or chaps. When people get to know each other in a swinging situation, those who appreciate this contrast gain an additional aesthetic pleasure.
Granted, political correctness holds that there should be no such celebration of skin color, as we are all “human.” The problem is that this bumps up against another tenet of political correctness within the variant sexuality community: That all consensual kinks between adults are permitted – including fetishizing potential partners (again, with informed consent).
Occasionally parties, or club events, are scheduled around the intrigue of black men. If all involved – including the partners of those having sex, if any – are comfortable with this arrangement, where is the need for outrage?
There are many possible reasons for this intrigue. African Americans in the swinging community may well be underrepresented, highlighting their “otherness.” A 2000 study from Bellarmine University professors Curtis Bergstrand and Jennifer Blevins Williams, featured a sample of swingers that was 90.4 percent white, 4.9 percent black, and 3 percent Latino (1.5 percent indicated “other”). That 4.9 percent figure is well below the 12.6 percent of the U.S. population African Americans represented in 2000.
That said, the language surrounding black-focused events and inclinations within the swinging community does seem stuck in the 1950s, and the 1950s were not an especially racially enlightened time. A woman who is intrigued by black men may be referred to as a “Queen of Spades.” There are more than a few profiles here and elsewhere with handles reflecting this. Porn films through the 1970s (when the Mitchell Brothers were making their films) and, I suspect, today (although I’m less familiar with modern efforts) weren’t exactly enlightened in their depictions.
There’s also, in some cases, an ugly undertone – a white husband “sharing” his white wife only with black men. Yes, it is (hopefully) a desire of hers to experience the otherness… but if you look at some of the accounts of these types of play, there’s an element of the husband controlling the wife’s sexuality, or perhaps consenting to have her play with people he feels will be less of a threat to their relationship.
This sort of playing into stereotypes plays both ways. Within the past decade, Details magazine ran a story titled “Meet the Mandingos” about groups of black men who are invited to swinger parties to partner with non-black women. Wait – before anyone takes offense, know that the term “Mandingos” was apparently chosen by the man who organized the groups (they’re in several cities, according to Details): a black swinger named Art Hammer.
At first glance, there’s a lot to dislike about the Details article. It depicts one of the (white) hosts of a party as having “casual b!g0try” – he’s certainly not someone I’d like to spend much time with.
There are also quotes in the piece that make me wonder how much of it was made up out of thin air. Hammer is quoted as saying “The fantasy goes both ways…The women get to fuck our guys while their husbands watch, and we get to fuck rich white women, really mutt ‘em out.” And Hammer turns a profit. (No, it’s not or procuring: There is no guarantee of sex, only of access.)
One of Hammer’s Mandingos comes across as either a bit more circumspect, or a bit more disingenuous, depending on your outlook. Sayeth Jared: “I find the yin and yang of the two colors mixing very erotic…I believe the world is looking beyond color now more than ever. And people are getting more attractive. Sexier people are having more babies. Look around!”
There’s a fairly good discussion of African Americans in swinging on the Ess Dee Cee site (type out the single letters) under the heading “BBC only” vs. “No Black men.” The conversation starts with a complaint about lifestyle women who prefer black men exclusively, and talks about how this type of phenomenon cuts both ways: There are some people who have a “no black men” policy. For that matter, I’d be most interested how welcoming any circumcised reader has found sex clubs in Europe, especially those around Germany.
The discussion features some intelligent comments (and, yes, a fair amount of yahooism). Among the more rational are the folks who said (I’m quoting directly without editing):
* We're all going to have our opinions and preferances, thats a major part of the lifestyle. We have our turn on's and turn off's, fantasies and favorite acts of sexual devience. We tread softly trying not to hurt each others feelings but the truth is chances are someone will get hurt somewhere along the line. Life has its difficulties so why wouldn't the lifestyle?
* Many whites and hispanics in this area will only play with white males or hispanics for whatever reason. It puzzles us since race is not an issue. But there is nothing you can do about ignorance or personal preference.
* We all have our preferences and we think we should be able to choose our fantasy partner as we please. Some people like tall, short, muscular, chubby, big butts, big boobs, bald, long hair, and the list goes on. Although I am white I am not offended or slighted by women who only seek BBC. Its thier time to have fun and cut loose so why not it be with who they want and not what a man wants them to be with. Same goes for guys if we like a certain type of woman who is to dictate that we should go after one we are not intersted in.
* I understand what you are saying and I did comment on personal preferences being an important right for all swingers, but here is what I noticed....
Even now there are many couples that keep their distance or don't even take the time to get to know us because of a preconception they may have about me. I/we have met couples by chance at parties or clubs that avoided our profile thinking I was ghetto, or a thug or even worse ignorant and uneducated and then come to find that I am intelligent and articulate. After which they often call us an "awesome couple" that they'd love to get to know. Its not that I imagine this, I have been told this on more than one occasion.
It is that negative preconception that I dislike. That and the majority Of BBC lovers want BBC gangbangs... Its like that's all were good for? Not friendships or conversations or trips and travel, just come in get hard and leave...
A closing thought: Is every black male who is a guest at a swing party, or who goes to a swing club, falling into this mold? Of course not. But there is a definite fetishization of black men, more so than, say, Latinos or Jewish men (although I am campaigning for the latter). The question: In acknowledging variant sexuality, is it healthier to celebrate the difference or ignore it?
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Posted:Dec 23, 2015 6:53 am
Last Updated:Jan 16, 2016 1:33 am
133239 Views
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"The ink is black, the page is white/Together we learn to read and write"
-- Three Night
“Black and White” was the blogosphere’s top choice for the upcoming virtual symposium’s topic. “Fetishes” was once again a bridesmaid but not a bride… but the real news from the voting was the strong showing for write-in topics, including friends with benefits, bad habits, and “what I want.” All of those are being put into the hopper, and you’ll see ‘em in future voting opportunities.
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “International Intrigue.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the fourteenth symposium: Participants List For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium First Dates
Feel free to take the basic idea of “Black and White” and stretch it to as wild an interpretation as you like -- the post should reflect you! The last thing we need is a dozen monotonous texts on the same topic. Anything goes, as long as there is a trace of the original idea in the post.
On the morning of December 27, all participants will post their creations. Please, please, post ‘em to your own blogs early: I do want to link to them in a central post here, but I don’t want to be stapled to my desk all day.
I'll be responsible for posting links to your blogs here – I want to make this as effortless for participants as possible! Once you’ve posted, leave a note in the comments section here so I know to link to your submission. I will, of course, post latecomers… people do check back to see whether new participants have joined the symposium. But after the morning of December 27, I may not be updating the list as obsessively, especially if I’m waiting at the “Returns” line at my local department store.
As for contributions themselves: The idea is to create something new, as opposed to using posts to respond to other posts (although the comments section will, of course, remain fair game). Leave a note in the blog comments, and I’ll use a post on this blog that day to link to all contributions.
First suggestion: Participants may want to refer to either the virtual symposium or the topic itself in their headline. Not a requirement – there are no requirements, save for originality and participation – but a suggestion which will let the wide blog community know what we’re doing.
Second suggestion: Consider using one of the larger sizes, which can be found in the box when inputting a post. I find the much larger sizes offputting and hard to read… but size 2, to my mind, balances having to squint and the vertigo-inducing larger sizes. (This post has been posted in size 2, for what it’s worth…) Of course, there’s always the trick of holding down the control button and hitting either the + or – keys, which for most websites serves to enlarge or shrink copy and images.
This is not a contest. No souvenir mugs will be sent, nor ribbons awarded. The idea here is for those interested to, on a single day, offer an interpretation of a single topic for the sheer fun of it.
By all means, encourage other bloggers to participate – and to let me know they’re doing so through this post, so on the morning of December 27 I can link to their posts. Oh, and please consider this an invitation – if not a request – to the symposium both on your own blogs, and in individual requests to bloggers whom you’d like to see represented. The more the merrier, right? There are some folks with very distinct voices on this site who aren’t yet participating – let’s bring ‘em in and make ‘em one of us, one of us, one of us!
Remember, of course, to keep things in your voice!
Every symposium, there are a few newbies who contribute posts, and don’t let me know about their contributions (I catch some by watching the “recent posts” feed, but that’s hit or miss). So… once you post, please leave me a note on the master list post, or here! (I get messages about the symposium which are attached to the blog a little faster than the ones which are emailed to me.)
Can’t wait to see the results!
the symposium, the symposium, the symposium... the viewers you bring in may be your own. Can't get more (verbally) naked than that...
Final note: When the page with all the contributors goes live, please consider adding the link to your post, even if the contribution has already gone live. Doing so allows people to readily access all the other offerings… which is, after all, one of the purposes of this exercise.
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A Cure for Symposium Hiccups!
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Posted:Nov 30, 2015 7:02 am
Last Updated:Dec 5, 2018 2:01 pm
112640 Views
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Hello, all:
I've just finished my monthly call to the help desk. We seem to have had a record number of posts denied for this symposium... and I think we can all take some pride in that.
The help desk person and I couldn't identify why so many posts were denied this time... I suspect the subject itself might have something to do with it, although I have no understanding why that might be.
After going round and round with a very patient help desk representative, we came up with a few steps:
1. Review your post for any mention of external online locations. Fudge those.
2. If your post uses the symbol on the keyboard which is right above the number 2 when you hit the shift key, delete that.
3. If your post uses a phrase that refers to someplace online with words that rhyme with "not dom," delete those words.
4. Resubmit your post.
5. If, after all this, your post is STILL denied, send an email to one of the following:
If you are a standard member: team shift + 2 AdultFriendFinder not dom
If you are a gold member: gold shift + 2 AdultFriendFinder not dom
Explain that your post is innocuous, that the review process has been problematic, that you have edited and resubmitted your post, and that you would like it manually, not mechanically, reviewed.
I realize the mechanical review has been rough this month, but it can be overcome. The actual help desk people are pretty nice, and they want to be helpful.
Constructive insight welcome.
Salut tout le monde:
Je viens de terminer mon appel mensuelle au help desk. Il semble avoir eu un nombre record de messages refusés pour ce colloque ... et je pense que nous pouvons tous être fiers de cela.
La personne de help desk et je ne pouvais pas déterminer pourquoi tant de postes se sont vu refuser cette fois ... Je soupçonne que le sujet lui-même pourrait avoir quelque chose à voir avec cela, bien que je ne comprendre pourquoi cela pourrait être.
Après tourner en rond avec un représentant du service d'assistance très patient, nous sommes arrivés avec quelques étapes:
1. Passez en revue votre poste pour toute mention d'emplacements externes en ligne. Fudge ceux.
2. Si votre message utilise le symbole sur le clavier qui est juste au-dessus du numéro 2 quand vous frappez la touche shift, supprimer cela.
3. Si votre message utilise une expression qui se réfère à quelque part en ligne avec des mots qui riment avec "pas les DOM,« supprimer ces mots.
4. Relancez votre poste.
5. Si, après tout cela, votre poste est toujours refusé, envoyer et e-mail à l'un des suivants:
Si vous êtes un membre standard: changement d'équipe + 2 AdultFriendFinder pas les DOM
Si vous êtes un membre de l'or: changement d'or + 2 AdultFriendFinder pas les DOM
Expliquez que votre message est inoffensif, que le processus d'examen a été problématique, que vous avez modifié et soumis à nouveau votre poste, et que vous souhaitez manuellement, pas mechanicallly, revue.
Je me rends compte de l'examen mécanique a été rude ce mois-ci, mais elle peut être surmontée. Les personnes réelles help desk sont assez agréable, et ils veulent être utiles.
Constructive de bienvenue de perspicacité.
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Participants List For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium: First Dates
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Posted:Nov 28, 2015 11:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2016 5:26 pm
116716 Views
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Welcome to the fourteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic ("First Dates") and agreed, on or about November 29, to post their interpretations of that topic. Props to [blog Darling_Annette] for suggesting the topic the blogosphere ultimately chose. Additionally, if you haven’t seen her set of promotional images for the symposium, surf over to her blog and scroll around… and if you’re interested, she’s always looking for new faces to feature!
Separately, a public service announcement on behalf of redrockrascal – one of the smiling faces featured on Darling_Annette’s promotional images (how’s that for a smooth transition?) RedRockRascal finds the default font size for long blog contributions small: He wonders whether folks would consider using one of the larger sizes, which can be found in the box when inputting a post.
Personally, I find the much larger sizes offputting and hard to read… but I could see size 2 being a compromise. (This post has been posted in size 2, for what it’s worth…) Of course, there’s always the trick of holding down the control button and hitting either the + or – keys, which for most websites serves to enlarge or shrink copy and images. But I promised RedRockRascal that I’d pass along his request, and have now done so. Whether or not folks decide to use the larger sizes is purely a matter of personal taste, and has no bearing on symposium eligibility.
As for the symposium itself: there are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once the blogosphere voted on a topic, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
ERoosevelt: Awakening Bi-Curiosity Journey The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium First Dates Pleasure and Pain
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3736380]
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... quotFirst Datesquot And More Part 1 14th Virtual Symposium
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! How Would I Ever Explain How We Met
redrockrascal: My Blog Adventures In Dating Racquetball, 2 Big Casts Pt 1 14th Virtual Symposium First Dates
LadyLeo1949: MY SAFE HARBOR [post 3736224]
CountessMeville: Following My Submissive Heart [post 3736208]
kzoopair: Take two- they're small Early Dates
lyre_lyre: Fucking My Way to Clarity First Date
humorlife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man Virtual Symposium on First Dates One Date, Two Couples How Do Swingers Manage A Mnage
Fel7114: earless Forties [post 3736060]
mcmaniac: Rantings of a Social Butterfly [post 3735997]
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! First Dates14th Symposium
yellowflower56: Follow your Bliss [post 3733944]
PerleDeSoie: Sur la route de Soi.... [post 3735263]
[blog fantasmasse1]: C'est peut être.. [post 3735441]
1SexyGoodguy: Just One Sexy Guy's Blog [post 3734684]
Annie_34: Annie est dingue [post 3735011]
aflower2c: My thoughts... [post 3732553]
whome1963: Thoughts from a Shiny Skull [post 3732925]
joisygirl: Done and Dusted [post 3731921]
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES DISASTER FIRST DATES
Snookeroo1000: Toddy's Open Book [post 3736451]
Darling_Annette: Darling Dayz [post 3734337]
keithcancook: The Venting Blog Jingle Sex
2trythis: Personal Preferences 14th Virtual Symposium First Dates
mature_951: psst, over here.... [post 3736580]
khuXBFXM8u: The Down and Dirty The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium First Dates Some Advice
CookiesNMischief: Hands in the Cookie Jar The Fourteenth Symposium The Stressful Discouragement of the First Date Interview
SnuggleBuni41: Bag of Smashed Assholes [post 3736629]
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... AFF Dates
nightsoul1962: Tales of a night soul [post 3736652]
nightsoul1962: Tales of a night soul [post 3736653]
Megan6627: Metaphysical Temple of Haiku [post 3736654]
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... quotFirst Date With Swingersquot 14th Virtual Symposium
joisygirl: Done and Dusted [post 3732884]
Tmptrzz: Tmptrzz's Erotic Blog THE VIRTUAL SYMPOSIUM FIRST DATE WHAT AN EXPERIMENT IN LIFE
[blog Nezzie1959]: My Blog First dates First dates
[blog author51]: My Best ASSets [post 3736789]
[blog SweetCirce]: Magic and Mayhem [post 3736855] [post [post 3736855]]
Furbal1972: Journal of a Taxi Driver First Date A Late Symposium Entry
redrockrascal My Blog Adventures In Dating 2 Casts 2 Boobs Pt 2 14th Virtual Symposium First Dates
AmericanBaronin: Segue v14 {Personalities} One night in a bar
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3737224]
missthee: me, myself, and missthee Virtual Symposium First Dates
ChocolateNinja1: ☁☁Cloudy With a Chance Of..... [post 3737730]
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Virtual Symposium on First Dates: One Date, Two Couples – How Do Swingers Manage A Ménage?
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Posted:Nov 28, 2015 11:24 pm
Last Updated:Oct 16, 2021 3:46 pm
104906 Views
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This blog entry is part of the fourteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (“First Dates”) and agreed, on or about November 29, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants List For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium First Dates
How’s this for a bit of synchronicity – or, if you prefer, nepotism: One of the smarter articles on first dates among swinger couples focused on four people who met through this site. (Side note: Single people absolutely do swing, but the internal conversations they should have are somewhat different. That’s another post, though.)
Cynics might point out that “First Swinger Date,” which appears on swingingforfun, discusses meeting people on this site without mentioning technological difficulties. Well… Ukexpatcouple – the A F F handle for the piece’s author – may be being kind. The writing has a gentleness to it which precludes site bashing.
As Ukexpatcouple notes, each couple should have already had internal conversations about comfort levels, nonverbal cues, and a host of other pre-first-date concerns. These are probably discussed elsewhere on swingingforfun dot com, which is an extension of the couple’s on-site musings.
How did Ukexpatcouple manage expectations?
“We made sure they knew that this was just going to me a dinner/drinks date and if everyone got on we would arrange a play date for another evening, certainly, as it was our first swinger date we wanted to be able to be as relaxed as possible so we wanted no mixed messages..”
As Ukexpatcouple notes, excessive pushiness should raise a red flag: Yes, there are couples who want to meet in a hotel room for the first time. No, swingers shouldn’t. A chat over drinks or coffee is fine: A meal can be an option, but keeping it as a potential activity as opposed to a scheduled one offers a means for escape if there’s no chemistry.
What to wear for that first date? To quote Ukexpatcouple:
“…[T]he question ‘what do swingers wear on dinner dates ?’ went round in my mind for the few days running up to it. (Turns out whatever you would normally wear for a nice evening out would be good).
I constantly changed my mind and eventually settled on a nice dress with a pair of heels, hubby wore a nice shirt and pants. Why do men get away with not worrying about what to wear, as long as they are wearing a nice shirt and pants they are fine……”
The male of the couple they were meeting showed up in shorts and sandals, which was fine, too.
The only counsel I’d add is: Leave the slutwear at home for the first date. You probably don’t know how open the other couple is, and showing up in a bustier and six-inch spikes may draw more attention to your meeting than the other couple is comfortable with.
Ukexpatcouple bring up some interesting, subtle points – who sits where when meeting at a booth, for instance? How flirty should couples be? The piece doesn’t go into a lot of answers, or even detail about how this was resolved during the date described. One school of thought: You are there to learn about each other. Partners shouldn’t face each other: Doing so cuts down on the ability to read the other couple. Side by side is fine.
As for physical interplay: In public, limit it to an evening kiss, especially if at a vanilla bar or restaurant. If it moves indoors for fun, however – if first-date play is acceptable all around – what constitutes polite behavior might change. Couples may mix up who sits where. As for getting sex started… it’s probably best if the women initiate. On a separate post on swingersboard, a male respondent to a thread titled “What a newbie couple should expect on a first date with an experienced swinger couple” writes:
“I apologized for us being so nervous, and explained that we were feeling very awkward. She said that it was no problem, that she would just let her husband know that it was a no-go for tonight, and it was perfectly OK. I blurted out, ‘No, no, we REALLY want to play with you two tonight, we just don't know how to make transition from small talk into playing!’ She smiled, paused a moment, and said, ‘Don't worry... I'll take care of that.’
“We both returned to the living room, and the other woman allowed the ongoing conversation to continue for a minute. Then, without preamble, she asked, ‘Would you all like to come upstairs to the bedroom?’ The Mrs. and I managed to croak out our ‘yes!’ answers, both actually relieved to be finally getting to it! The other couple led us upstairs, where she was good enough to lead the way on kissing, undressing, and getting on the bed as well! We ended up having our first full swap that night, and it was a great time!”
Much as with singles, the fine art of profile writing can make a first date go easer. Ukexpatcouple mentions that one person in each couple shared a hobby, which was the basis for a lot of conversation.
The post dances around an interesting point, which should be blown out further: At times, one member of a couple may be more gregarious, and the other shyer. This should not be taken as a lack of interest by the quieter partner! Even if there are very few responses to go with, the quieter couple may respond positively to flirtatious, or even downright sexual, conversation.
Ah, sexual conversation, and when to bring it up. Look, assumedly, everyone is there because they all want sex with other people. Don’t push it. Swinging will usually come up naturally. Bring up the topic with humor, or with an experience, or even a very soft compliment. Pushing for a guarantee of play is a turnoff. And don’t start pawing members of the other couple: The thought that should be in people’s heads is “These people are here to swing: They’re not necessarily here to swing with us.”
At the Red-dit site(no hyphen), a thread titled “Gearing up for first date with another couple” offers blunter how-to style advice, as opposed to Ukexpatcouple’s gentle prose. Keep the drinking to a minimum: Enough to be loose but not sloppy. If you have a sense of what your limit under normal circumstances is, on this night it should be one or two drinks before that, as you’re trying to read the dynamics of three other people.
My own take: I suspect there is a greater likelihood on sex resulting from a first date between swingers – whether on that actual date or in the future – than on dates between vanilla folks. But the rules of decorum still apply, and assholes still aren’t going to get laid – and they’ll still be petulant about it.
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A Workaround For Slow-Loading Blog Pages
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Posted:Nov 23, 2015 10:42 am
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2015 9:02 am
99172 Views
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Hello, all:
A few bloggers have noted frustration with slow-loading blog pages. I've got no answers... but for folks with PCs and two-button mice, I can offer a workaround.
When trying to access the main blog page, or any of the sub-pages such as "Where I'm Quoted" or a specific blog:
1. Click on Community, so the drop down menu appears. Mouse over to Blogs, but do NOT click on it with the left mouse button.
2. Instead, click on it with the right mouse button. Doing so will bring up a menu of choices. One of the choices is to open the blogs in a new tab.
3. Instead, click on that with the left mouse button. Your destination will eventually open in a new tab.
It'll still take time to load, but the time seems to be reduced. Not sure why it works, but it does.
Spread the word!
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“First Dates” Is The Topic For The Fourteenth Virtual Symposium!
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Posted:Nov 18, 2015 4:32 am
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2015 8:54 pm
110928 Views
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“First Dates” was the blogosphere’s top choice for the upcoming virtual symposium’s topic, narrowly edging out “Fetishes” – a topic which will very, very likely appear as a choice again very soon. To those who pimped this vote, thank you! And a special congratulations to [blog Darling_Annette] for suggesting the topic. (Folks might enjoy checking out her blog: She’s been creating a series of photo-cartoon promotions which are a lot of fun. You'll have to scroll down a bit, but they're there.)
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “International Intrigue.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the thirteenth symposium: Participants In The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Sapiosexuality Intersection Of Smarts And Sex
Feel free to take the basic idea of “First Dates” and stretch it to as wild an interpretation as you like -- the post should reflect you! The last thing we need is a dozen monotonous texts on the same topic. Anything goes, as long as there is a trace of the original idea in the post.
On the morning of November 29 (the Sunday immediately after the American Thanksgiving holiday, for those keeping score), all participants will post their creations. Please, please, post ‘em to your own blogs early: I do want to link to them in a central post here, but I don’t want to be stapled to my desk all day.
I'll be responsible for posting links to your blogs here – I want to make this as effortless for participants as possible! Once you’ve posted, leave a note in the comments section here so I know to link to your submission. I will, of course, post latecomers… people do check back to see whether new participants have joined the symposium. But after the morning of November 29, I may not be updating the list as obsessively, especially if I’m still digesting turkey.
Additionally, links sometimes take a while to become live. The sooner I can scoop up the link to your contribution, the faster (hopefully) others will be able to click through to it.
As for contributions themselves: The idea is to create something new, as opposed to using posts to respond to other posts (although the comments section will, of course, remain fair game). Leave a note in the blog comments, and I’ll use a post on this blog that day to link to all contributions.
A suggestion: Participants may want to refer to either the virtual symposium or the topic itself in their headline. Not a requirement – there are no requirements, save for originality and participation – but a suggestion which will let the wide blog community know what we’re doing.
This is not a contest. No souvenir mugs will be sent, nor ribbons awarded. The idea here is for those interested to, on a single day, offer an interpretation of a single topic for the sheer fun of it.
By all means, encourage other bloggers to participate – and to let me know they’re doing so through this post, so on the morning of November 29 I can link to their posts. Oh, and please consider this an invitation – if not a request – to the symposium both on your own blogs, and in individual requests to bloggers whom you’d like to see represented. The more the merrier, right? There are some folks with very distinct voices on this site who aren’t yet participating – let’s bring ‘em in and make ‘em one of us, one of us, one of us!
Remember, of course, to keep things in your voice!
Every symposium, there are a few newbies who contribute posts, and don’t let me know about their contributions (I catch some by watching the “recent posts” feed, but that’s hit or miss). So… once you post, please leave me a note on the master list post, or here! (I get messages about the symposium which are attached to the blog a little faster than the ones which are emailed to me.)
Can’t wait to see the results!
the symposium, the symposium, the symposium... the viewers you bring in may be your own. Can't get more (verbally) naked than that...
Final note: When the page with all the contributors goes live, please consider adding the link to your post, even if the contribution has already gone live. Doing so allows people to readily access all the other offerings… which is, after all, one of the purposes of this exercise.
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Virtual Symposium on Sapiosexuality: Scientists And Swinging Offer A Balanced Equation
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Posted:Nov 2, 2015 10:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2015 8:33 am
104257 Views
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This blog entry is part of the thirteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted for a single topic (“Sapiosexuality -- The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex”) and agreed, on or about November a, to post their interpretations of that topic. A continually updated list of participants can be found here: Participants In The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Sapiosexuality Intersection Of Smarts And Sex
There’s a special sort of brilliance that comes with advances in the hard sciences: Those with it have a cold, keen, logical approach specifically designed to break down the mysteries of the world through math.
Doesn’t exactly sound like the sort of people who’d be fun to hang around the chip bowl with on Saturday nights, does it?
Turns out that the hardest of the hard-core scientists are no strangers to erotic adventures. Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking, who is largely unable to move unaided due to advanced amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, was once a guest at the Freedom Acres clothing optional swinger lifestyle resort based in San Bernardino, CA.
Hawking, who was twice married, was single when he went to the Freedom Acres club, according to “A brief history of the time Stephen Hawking went to a sex club: University says physicist visited California swingers' club with friends,” an article in the UK’s Daily Mail.
He was accompanied by “an entourage of nurses and assistants,” according to the Daily Mail, which also claimed the good professor paid for erotic dance performances.
Hawking clearly has a taste for the prurient. The Daily Mail also noted that he was a regular visitor to London’s Stringfellows nightclub. The Daily Mail quoted nightclub owner Peter Stringfellow, a self-described Hawking fan, as saying Hawking is “…[e]asily one of the most intelligent men in the world with one of the finest brains and on top of that so brave he takes my breath away - but he’s very human with it.
“I remember asking him if he’d like to have a conversation with me about the universe or if he’d just like to watch the girls. The answer was quite simply, ‘The girls.’”
Hawking is but one in a line of brilliant physical scientists who indulge their erotic desires. According to “Einstein, Feynman, and Other Famous Swingers: Getting Physical,” which ran in Seed magazine, in 2005 “researchers in England published a study purporting to establish a link between creative output and number of sexual partners. As the lead author (under)stated, ‘Creative people are often considered to be very attractive and get lots of attention as a result.’
“The theoretical physicists of the 20th century were no exception.”
Unfortunately, Seed lumps “skirt chasers,” flirts, and “lamentable philanderers” in with swingers. The latter, when involved in relationships, pride themselves on honesty and openness in their extracurricular activities. Sadly, many of the scientists named – including Marie Curie, who is painted as a home wrecker – don’t come across as ethical in their behavior.
Others seem somewhat piggish. The late Richard Feynman, who shared the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1965, “claimed a foolproof method for bedding women,” according to Seed. (Feynman was a funny bastard, and it’s entirely within his character that he might do so: His autobiography paints a picture of a man who lived with his tongue firmly in his cheek when it wasn’t otherwise engaged.)
According to Seed, “’Libertines, both male and female, have always been around in math and physics,’” says Jennifer Ouellette, who writes on physics history and is associate editor of the American Physical Society’s newsletter.”
That said, don’t think scientists’ erotic adventures distract them from essential duties. As Seed notes, “While once floundering on a problem, Erwin Schrödinger shacked up in an alpine villa for an extended holiday with “an old girlfriend” and, in the “late erotic outburst” that followed, produced the eponymous equation that would net him the Nobel.”
Yowza! Move over, Hugh Hefner: Johannes Kepler demands a place on the mattress!
The truth – appropriate for disciplines that reward hard truths – is that the truly brilliant enjoy getting their cookies just as much as the rest of us do. Seed quotes Feynman on mind and matter: “Physics is like sex: Sure, it may give some practical results but that’s not why we do it.”
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Participants In The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium: Sapiosexuality: Intersection Of Smarts And Sex
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Posted:Oct 31, 2015 11:20 pm
Last Updated:May 5, 2016 12:57 pm
109029 Views
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Welcome to the thirteenth virtual symposium, an informal collection of bloggers who – purely for the hell of it – voted on a single topic ("Sapiosexuality -- The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex") and agreed, on or about November 1, to post their interpretations of that topic. A special shout-out to NaughtyInSO and [blog CalypsoFlame], who suggested the topic which the blogosphere ultimately chose!
There are no prizes or awards, save for the opportunity to build a more-closely knit blog community. All bloggers are invited to participate in this, as well as all future, virtual symposiums. To participate, watch this blog for future symposium topics: We anticipate doing one per month.
The rules, such as they are, are simple: Once the blogosphere voted on a topic, all bloggers were and are invited to interpret the topic as loosely as they choose, and offer any type of post they like which either tangentially or directly addresses the topic, whether through fantasy/fiction, essay, photographs, image collages, poems, one-liners, or any other form they choose. Contact me through a comment on this post to be included on this list, which I will update as new participants make themselves known.
We (that’s the editorial we – or perhaps I have a tapeworm) hope readers will use these virtual forums to discover new, interesting voices. A request of readers: If you find an entry you especially like, please don’t be shy about leaving an attaboy/attagirl on the appropriate blog. Applause never hurts!
A continually updated list of participants can be found below: Please check back often, as I’ll add new posts as often as appropriate (and as other responsibilities allow). Please leave a note here if I haven’t included your submission!
Note: The site's system is being temperamental about posting hot links: Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't... sometimes they take a few attempts. If a link isn't hot, please track down the appropriate blogs. They're worth it.
AND... BY ALL MEANS, IF YOU HAVEN'T CONTRIBUTED AND WANT TO, PLEASE DO SO! Was hoping to get most of the submissions input at the start of the day... but people do keep checking the list for new contributors... so if you're so moved, write a post and let me know here so I can include you.
Hey, gang, looks like we picked up some new participants! Check the list, and give ‘em an appropriately inappropriate welcome!
In no particular order at all, our participants include:
CalypsoFlame: A Lucid Passion [post 3721273]
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... Sapiosexuality Contribution to 13th Virtual Symposium, Part 1
NaughtyInSO: It's a Mad, Mad, Mad world... Intersection Of Smarts And Sex, contribution to 13th Virtual Symposium, Part 2
[blog yckare]: Rêves d'envols... [post 3719685]
Gntillhom: La rubrique et de broc [post 3721084]
sweetflower67: Une fleur parmi les fleurs [post 3719750]
annielaputain: Annie est dingue [post 3719534]
Redrockrascal: My Blog Am I Sappy Ole Sex Yall The 13th Virtual Symposium
Darling_Annette: Darling Dayz [post 3721197]
Yesmamallthetime: Mellifluous Musings [post 3721573]
ghost90025: Fantasy to Reality? [post 3721578]
Kzoopair (By PD): Take two- they're small Sapiosexual IQ Test
Kzoopair (By Bill): Take two- they're small Homo Sonofabitchicus
aflower2c: My thoughts... [post 3721476]
SlenderGal88: To Be Consumed [post 3721504]
Joisygirl: Done and Dusted [post 3721465]
azriel1970: Let er Buck!!!! [post 3721446]
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah Sapient Sociology for the Symposium
kinkyfem73: Kinkyland [post 3721416]
KItkat1415: Kinks and High Jinks [post 3721380]
Keithcancook: The Venting Blog Poetical Seduction 13th Virtual Symposium
whome1963: Thoughts from a Shiny Skull [post 3721181]
author51: My Best ASSets [post 3721115]
apollorising2021: going LOCAL [post 3721283]
ethicalslutmissy: An Ethical Slut Named Missy [post 3721588]
2trythis: Personal Preferences Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Sapiosexuality The Intersection Of Smarts and Sex
LadyLeo1949: STITCHING BITCHING & ENRICHING [post 3721612]
keithcancook: The Venting Blog STAR WRECK the 13th Virtual Symposium
BiggLala: Lalaverse [post 3721631]
VerandahPoly: From the Outback Verandah A Treatise on Orgasmic Engineering by a Sapient Fat Old Fool
Snookeroo1000: Toddy's Open Book [post 3721682]
spunkycumfun: Sexy TIMES SAPIOSEXUALS, MOROPHILIACS AND HOMER SIMPSON
myelin36: Dirty Little Secrets Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Apparently Being Smarter is NOT Sexy
sweet_VM: In your Dreams Consume Me The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium Sapiosexuality The Intersection Of Smarts
gardenboy321: Thoughts from the Garden... Excerpt from
SnuggleBuni41: Bag of Smashed Assholes [post 3721871]
Eros_Space: LOVE AND ROCKETS [post 3721952]
veryfunnyguy64: Musings and other Thoughts! Sapiosexuality What it means to me
missthee: me, myself, and missthee Virtual Symposium I had sex with a space camp dropout
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! quotOh the Places You39ll Goquot Trilogy Part 1
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! quotOh the Places You39ll Goquot Trilogy Part 2
LadyLuck2: Play the Hand You Were Dealt! Oh the Places You'll Go Trilogy Part 3
ChocolateNinja1: ☁☁Cloudy With a Chance Of..... [post 3722133]
humorlife: Confessions of a Lifestyle Man Virtual Symposium on Sapiosexuality Scientists And Swinging Offer A Balanced Equation
lyre_lyre: Fucking My Way to Clarity George got ready for the pitch Sapiosexual Symposium
lucius8858: My Blog My Desire
Jules1590: Delving the Jules [post 3724168]
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“Sapiosexuality -- The Intersection Of Smarts And Sex” Is The Thirteenth Virtual Symposium's Topic!
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Posted:Oct 26, 2015 5:11 am
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2015 12:50 pm
102059 Views
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“Soon the idea came. It was so simple, so obvious, he should have thought of it long ago. His greatest talent was thinking. His greatest pleasure was fucking. ‘Ye gods!’ he thought, ‘What if I put my two greatnesses together?’
"Just then the sun went black.”
-- Allen Sherman
“Sapiosexuality -- the intersection of smarts and sex” was the blogosphere’s top choice for the upcoming virtual symposium’s topic. We had a lot of voters this time – including some folks who seem to be new to the whole symposium project. To those who pimped this vote, thank you! (And to those of you who voted for one of the runners up, take heart: You’ll be seeing these topics again at some point…)
For those new to the virtual symposium: In short, it’s a simultaneous act of blogging. Here’s how it works: Anybody with a blog on this site is welcome to join in. All choosing to participate will create something – an essay, a cartoon, an erotic story, a memoir, a series of one-line aphorisms, an image collage, a photo montage, a poem, or anything else – relating to “International Intrigue.” At a pre-arranged time and date (see below) all participants post their contributions.
Want a better sense of how it works – or just some good reads? Here’s a link to the participants’ list from the twelfth symposium: Participants List For The Twelfth Virtual Symposium International Intrigue
Feel free to take the basic idea of “Sapiosexuality -- the intersection of smarts and sex” and stretch it to as wild an interpretation as you like -- the post should reflect you! The last thing we need is a dozen monotonous texts on the same topic. Anything goes, as long as there is a trace of the original idea in the post.
On the morning of November 1 (this Sunday, for those keeping score), all participants will post their creations. Please, please, post ‘em to your own blogs early: I do want to link to them in a central post here, but I don’t want to be stapled to my desk all day.
I'll be responsible for posting links to your blogs here – I want to make this as effortless for participants as possible! Once you’ve posted, leave a note in the comments section here so I know to link to your submission. I will, of course, post latecomers… people do check back to see whether new participants have joined the symposium. But after the morning of November 1, I may not be updating the list as obsessively.
Additionally, links sometimes take a while to become live. The sooner I can scoop up the link to your contribution, the faster (hopefully) others will be able to click through to it.
As for contributions themselves: The idea is to create something new, as opposed to using posts to respond to other posts (although the comments section will, of course, remain fair game). Leave a note in the blog comments, and I’ll use a post on this blog that day to link to all contributions.
A suggestion: Participants may want to refer to either the virtual symposium or the topic itself in their headline. Not a requirement – there are no requirements, save for originality and participation – but a suggestion which will let the wide blog community know what we’re doing.
This is not a contest. No souvenir mugs will be sent, nor ribbons awarded. The idea here is for those interested to, on a single day, offer an interpretation of a single topic for the sheer fun of it.
By all means, encourage other bloggers to participate – and to let me know they’re doing so through this post, so on the morning of November 1 I can link to their posts. Oh, and please consider this an invitation – if not a request – to the symposium both on your own blogs, and in individual requests to bloggers whom you’d like to see represented. The more the merrier, right? There are some folks with very distinct voices on this site who aren’t yet participating – let’s bring ‘em in and make ‘em one of us, one of us, one of us!
Remember, of course, to keep things in your voice!
Every symposium, there are a few newbies who contribute posts, and don’t let me know about their contributions (I catch some by watching the “recent posts” feed, but that’s hit or miss). So… once you post, please leave me a note on the master list post, or here! (I get messages about the symposium which are attached to the blog a little faster than the ones which are emailed to me.)
Can’t wait to see the results!
the symposium, the symposium, the symposium... the viewers you bring in may be your own. Can't get more (verbally) naked than that...
Final note: When the page with all the contributors goes live, please consider adding the link to your post, even if the contribution has already gone live. Doing so allows people to readily access all the other offerings… which is, after all, one of the purposes of this exercise.
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To link to this blog (humorlife) use [blog humorlife] in your messages.
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